• August 29, 2016

    There are always challenges to overcome...

    and seven days went by so quickly.

  • August 22, 2016 (late)

    It's truly amazing thinking about the past year. Reading the post before this is...eye opening. Self-prophesying much? Finding a lot of evidence of this. I knew of this move long ago.

    The simple fact that I haven"t posted on here since November is ridiculous! God, so much has been going on...

    Exploited...
    So much lost faith...
    Homelessness...
    Abandonment...

    But fuck it I'm still here and doing VERY WELL.

    Oh...wait...reality...

    Survivor's guilt...

    I done beat whitey.

    Now my brother hates me.....

  • August, 22, 2016

    Stared at 2 drawings while contemplating love as an artist. Love as a black artist. Love as a black male artist... and so on...

  • November 11, 2015

    It's been awhile since my last post here. A lot has been happening and I'm super grateful. Many aspects of my life are pulling together. The struggle to be a full-time artist is still very real. However, there are so many "helpers" and mentors that are keeping me focused, inspired, and constantly fueled for creation.

  • September 10th, 2015

    It's a bit stormy outside. It's nice to still be happy even when it is raining. Too often I am swayed by the turning of the weather.

    Day by day, I keep feeling more and more in control of my destiny.

  • September 4th, 2015

    I arrived in Baltimore at approximately 3pm. Feel so far


    removed


    from everything.

    Walked down the alley and felt so much negative energy.
    Everyone is in such a hurry.

    It's all frightening...

  • August 20, 2015

    A beautifully written article by Daniel Stuelpnagel was written about my solo show, "History. Experience. Revelation." Check it out here:

    What Weekly Article

  • August 17th, 2015

    Last month t-boned (still going to physical therapy for it), have had small crappy situation after another, and got attacked by a dog this morning, complete with stitches and a lot of ouch and holes. Yet, I'm here to say I'm happy, inspired, and still making art damnit! I might be dripping blood on the ground but the opposition fuels me.

    When one gives their life to something greater than themselves, the negative energies will do their best to keep one down. Opposites. It's inevitable.

    I swear life keeps throwing me hefty hurdles this year and I'm flying over each of them. Learning so much about life and the world in the process.

    The shield of my ancestors is always lifted. No blow will take me to my knees.

    One day there will be equality for all of us. I will keep fighting the good fight.

  • August 16, 2015

    I wrote a poem to inspire me before getting into the studio today:

    Untitled

    Flattened torsos
    from raging red fists
    Fire engulfs the beating
    heart
    and sweat cools the skin

    Exhaustion stills the mind
    and the hum of trembling steel
    softens

    Their toxic language
    sharpened and cutting
    deep wounds in flesh
    This, healing
    tumors of aggression

    Until my flesh falls
    the columns shall be shaken

    -Bobby English, Jr.

  • August 11th, 2015

    So many things that I love are speaking to me...

  • August 8th, 2015

    Last night's opening was such a success I feel goosebumps from the encouragment and inspiration. Peers who I haven't seen for years showed up to see my work and it means the world to me. So much love to all of you. So much of this experience has confirmed to me that my work is headed in a good direction.

    On to the next piece! :)

    Peace!

  • August 5th, 2015

    It has been a rough few days. I've witnessed a lot from the world and even more from myself. Its shocking. The poetry reading tonight certainly did some healing. I am blessed...

    Don't let them control you.
    Escaping is never easy.

  • July 30, 2015

    Baltimore has a way of letting me know when its time to get out of the city. A certain series of unfortunate events spiraling in and out of control seem to set the tone. The wind is certainly at my back. Leaving you soon, Baltimore...

  • July 1, 2015

    I find myself feeling much more authentic now. Much more like myself. I see it coming through my art. I feel it in my veins. I smell it in the air...


    Untitled

    I will always remember...

    I will always remember
    The void between the nipples
    that deep hollowness inside of the chest

    I will always remember
    the cold
    of my downpressors brow

    The pressure
    rendering me so small
    Making my voice so weak
    my angst so strong…

    And you
    Knowing you were using me

    I will always remember
    you
    Standing behind false security

    But time has a way
    Time has a sense of justice.
    And power has a way
    Power has a way of coming to the oppressed.

    I had sewn my mouth closed for you
    to keep from harming your heart
    causing your ears to bleed from a truth you need to hear

    I had castrated myself
    to no longer be a spectacle for you

    I had bound my feet
    to keep from kicking you six feet into the ground

    I had sewn my eyes shut
    to not be tainted by the sight of you

    I had covered my nose
    to no longer smell the flith of your selfish ways

    I had handcuffed myself
    to keep from tearing you apart
    destroying what you love

    Me
    Destroying myself,
    thinking I was on the way to peace
    Instead,
    becoming exactly what you wanted
    making you feel safe

    I will always remember…

    The pain in my side
    The alienation
    The fucekd up spine
    The ignorant dialogues with non-black friends
    The fucked up wrist
    The drugs
    The broken Family
    The dead mother
    The poor decisions
    The dead brother
    The POOR decisions
    The dead sister
    The sacrifices
    The will-never-do-better-doesn’t-want-to-do-better-attitude of my people
    The feeling like shit
    The wanting to disappear
    Wanting to be nothing

    Wanting to be
    No. Such. Thing.

    No such thing.

    There seems to be no such thing as justice
    It always seems to be just us
    A small group of people
    trying to change so much,
    but amounting to so little

    Why is it so difficult to be in numbers?
    Why is it so difficult to agree, when we know we agree?
    Why is it so hard to love, when we all want to be loved.
    Why can I not smile at you, knowing you’re going to smile back?

    I will always remember
    how much I want to forget...


    -Bobby English, Jr.